Kulturschock: Round One

It's October 3rd, which means no school and a mega-cool Google logo for Tag der Deutschen Einheit. In a nutshell, today "[...] commemorates 1the anniversary of German reunification in 1990, when the goal of a unity of Germany that originated in the middle of the 19th century, was fulfilled."
[Thank you, Wikipedia.]

The decked out logo makes me way happier than it should.

So, the topic of the day isss...
Culture shock!
Kulturschock.
What-on-earth-is-all-of-this-oh-god-I'll-just-smile-and-pretend-like-I-know-what's-going-on-shock.

My CBYX blogger buddies have been making thorough [and thoroughly amusing] lists with all sorts of delicious differences between Germany and the U.S. that have taken us by surprise. A post with links to the said other blogs is in the works, but until then, here's a peek into my collection of 'huh?' moments.

 I'm from Seattle.
We have a Starbucks on every corner there.
As in, there will be a Starbucks cafe, and then another in the grocery store right next door, and then another across the street.
That's more common than you'd think, too.
However.
 Fashion is to Europeans was coffee is to Seattleites.
There's an H&M here for every Starbucks back home.
A town with absolutely nothing will still have an H&M, bestimmt.

And then there are three times as many bakeries in every corner as there are coffee shops in Seattle.
People live off of carbs here.
Crobag, Kamps, Backwerk, Backstern, smaller independent bakeries, and one in every major grocery chain.
And everything is delicious and tempting and dirt cheap.
Goodbye, skinny jeans. It was nice fitting in you while it lasted.

Speaking of food here,
Food is carbs, and nothing but.
Bread, toast, rolls, croissants, noodles, potatoes, more bread, more noodles, more bread---
I might as well have an IV drip with some straight up carb-syrup-mix plugged into me the entire day.

I love this country.

However, even though they've got their carbs down here, vegetables are still a work in progress.
Green beans here are white.

Eeeeeeh?

 .... As is asparagus.

'Nuff said.

Aren't my veggies are supposed to be green?
They're albinoooo:(

 As if messing with my understanding of colors wasn't enough, the other day at the grocery store I went to pick up ketchup.

And there was a row of toothpaste tubes above all such dressing.

Toothpaste?

You don't want to brush your teeth with these, boys and girls.

Nope.
Ketchup, mayonnaise, mustard, you name it- it comes in toothpaste tubes.
Tubes.

And since we've gone on a theoretical grocery shopping trip, I'll round this off by advising you all to be careful when checking out!

German cashiers check your groceries like they're in the checking-grocery-Olympics. 

So be prepared to shove everything in your bag [You don't get plastic bags here. Don't have your own? Have fun carrying everything back home by hand:)] as it comes flying at you, while trying to pay, all while the cashier has probably already started on the person next in line.

It's terrifying.

And on the other hand, when you go grocery shopping in small stores or stands in markets, don't get all grabby and start feeling up the produce. The owners actually come out, ask you want you need, and pick out/bag everything for you.

[Dear lady who gave me dirty looks when I tried to pick out my own tomatoes. I'm sorry.]

 ---------------------------------------------------

On an entirely unrelated topic [because I feel like the only thing I do here is talk about food], I had an interesting conversation with my host parents the other day. They were talking about a movie with two old men, who took care of a list of things they wanted to do before they died. 

Naturally, I was like, "Oh! The Bucket List!"

"Huh?"

"The Bucket List! Like, with the list of things you want to do before you die."

And they were all like, "Oh you silly American girl. You mean eine Löffel Liste."

Eine Löffel Liste.

Let me translate.

A Spoon List.

 When you die in Germany, you don't kick the bucket.

Du gibst den Löffel ab.

...

You give up the spoon.

Oh Germany, you silly thing, you.